BDSM Terms

• 24/7 (BDSM): A relationship in which protocols are in place continuously.
• Animal transformation fantasy: Fantasy in which the focus is on the sub entering the altered mindspace of a different species, typically a dog, pony or horse..
• Age play: Usually referring to Daddy/daughter or Mommy/baby role play. Does not usually include or imply aspects of incest, but rather the nurturing relationship of Parent/child or Teacher/student.
• Anal torture: The BDSM practice of inflicting pain on the anus.
• Auctioned off: Dom/me auctions off the Slave to the highest bidder (usually supervised and for temporary use).
• Bad pain: Good pain and bad pain are terms used lightheartedly by BDSM practitioners, signifying that whilst BDSM may include an element (often quite pronounced) consensual pain, there is a purpose to it, and some pain is consented to and accepted whilst other pain is not. "Bad pain" is pain which is outside hard limits, non-mutual or non-valued, not wished for, and of limited or no value in this context.
• Bondage: this practice involves people being tied up or otherwise restrained for pleasure. Bondage is usually a sexual practice, but not always. Vincilagnia is the name of the paraphilia of being sexually aroused by bondage.
• Bottom: submissive or one who gives up control, or simply one who receives physical sensation from a Top in a scene.
• Breath Control: The Dom controls the sub's breathing.
• Butt plug: Much like a dildo, only shaped slightly differently. They come in a variety of sizes; some can vibrate.
• Dom: Man who takes control (from Dominant)
• Dominant (dom/domme) (also dominatrix)
• Domme: Female who takes control (contraction of dominatrix)
• D/s: Domination/submission
• Dungeon: Usually referring to a room or area with BDSM equipment and play space
• Edgeplay: SM play involving blood, permanent marking, knives, or fire, sometimes with a greater risk of danger.
• Erotic sexual denial: keeping another person aroused while delaying or preventing resolution of the feelings, to keep them in a continual state of anticipatory tension and inner conflict, and heightened sensitivity. Also see tease and denial and chastity.
• Fetish: A specific obsession or delight in one object.
• Fire play: Using flammable liquids to create quick, fleeting instances of flame on the skin of the bottom. Risk of injury is increased and the Top should be learned with fire play skills.
• Genitorture: Torture of the genitals
• Good pain: Good pain and bad pain are terms used lightheartedly by BDSM practitioners, signifying that whilst BDSM may include an element (often quite pronounced) consensual pain, there is a purpose to it, and some pain is consented to and accepted whilst other pain is not. "Good pain" is therefore pain which is mutually agreed, desired or permitted by the submissive partner to be experienced, and seen by them as of enjoyment or value.
• Knife play: Slow, methodical sensation of the bottom with the edges and points of knives, usually without cutting the skin. Fear of the weapon plays a large part in the stimulus of the bottom.
• Munch: A group of people that are into BDSM meeting at a vanilla place. Sometimes this is a club. You might see an announcement like, "This weekend's munch is at Denny's"
• Needle play: Temporary piercings done with sterile needles of varying gauges, usually only for the duration of a scene.
• Newbie: Someone new to BDSM.
• OTK: Over the knee (spanking).
• Painslut: A person who enjoys receiving a heavy degree of pain but may or may not necessarily enjoy submitting.
• ProDom: Male professional Dominant (charges money)
• ProDomme: Female professional Dominant (charges money)
• Sensation play: BDSM play where the intent is to push people's sensory limits, thus exploring texture, sensory deprival, through to whips, flaggillation and edgeplay.
• Slave: Person who gives up a great degree of control in an ongoing D/s relationship, sometimes with few remaining limits. Often those who identify as "slave" have a great desire for being of service to their dominant, sometimes referred to as "service-oriented submission."
• S & M: A popular, nonclinical term for behaviors that involve both sexual sadism as well as masochism, often in a consensual, role-playing manner.
• Soft Limits: Something that someone is hesitant to do or nervous to try. They can sometimes be talked into the activity.
• Subdrop: A physical condition, often with cold- or flu-like symptoms, experienced by a submissive after an intense session of BDSM play. This can last for as long as a week, and is best prevented by aftercare immediately after the session.
• Submissive, or "sub" for short. Person that gives up control either all the time or only during a scene
• Subspace: A "natural high" that a sub gets during a scene or when being controlled.
• switch: Someone who likes being both Dominant and submissive, either in one scene or on different occasions.
• Wannabe: Someone who thinks or claims to be knowledgeable about BDSM, but is not. Especially prevalent with new Doms.
• WIITWD: What it is that we do. A broad term referring to all forms of alternative sexuality.
• Wax play: The Dom/me drips hot wax on the sub.